Before
by DeepCrimson76
Summary: These are random moments in the life's of the Cullens before they met their other halves. Some dark moments, some funny ones... Starting with Jasper!
1. Jasper: Alone

_**Authors Note:**_

_**Random One-shots of the life's of the Cullen's before they met their other halves!**_

_**These are from all different POVs so we can see what other people think of them and what they thought about life and stuff. I've taken some of the plotlines directly from Stephanie Meyer's books and I've made up other ones myself, based on what was in the books.**_

_**First up: Jasper! This was originally the beginning of a story but I decided that I couldn't write it and combined it with my other story. This is kind of dark so beware!**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight**_

**JASPER'S POV:**

"And I heard that William may be planning to attack tonight or tomorrow night so we will have to be prepared. He has a good army but I think the new newborns will be able to handle the fight. Oh, and I want you to dispose of some of the older ones. Annie, Jack and perhaps Thomas…"

Maria was planning her attacks just like any other afternoon. Conquer the land, drink the blood… She rarely had anything else on her mind. She still hoped to control Texas and Mexico like she did in my newborn years but she seemed satisfied to hold onto Monterrey with my help. The fighting is constant, someone else's venom always burning in my body. I've learned to ignore it.

Another day, another fight…

"Actually Jasper, after this fight, destroy all the older ones. I don't think we will be attacked after this. Peter can help you…"

Even when we get a small break from the fight we had to destroy those in our own coven. I sighed internally. Every year, after I managed to control them, I would begin to bond with newcomers to our coven. Run with them, play with them, laugh with them, fight with them. Only to feel their disbelief and betrayal when I had to kill them. I was the only one to last over five years.

The fight that night was brutal. They came at us from the south side of the city. I fought a couple of newborns, so easily dealt with. Needless to say, we won the fight. We always do. We got back to the old building in Monterrey. Everyone was prepared to celebrate another battle won; overjoyed at the rewards we were going to receive for this. A couple of humans thrown into a room with us, amazed by our beauty, terrified when they guessed their fate…

Maria was acting strangely. Her usual feelings of happiness and determination that were usually there when we won, weren't what she was feeling. She was feeling something else, something quite different…

"Jasper, why don't we go into the other room…"

**MARIA'S POV:**

Jasper, my Jasper, he's a true fighter. Although I normally participate in a fight, tonight I just watched him. He was so graceful as he moved and ripped and bit and killed. Beautiful. Usually I can control my feelings for him better that this. His gift could give me away. But tonight, he was focused on the fight.

I call him into the other room when we get back. He's bewildered, unable to understand my emotions. Oh, we've been together before, of course, but we've been with others too. I've never shown him how much he means to me and I never will.

I've been hurt before, by men, and I will never make myself so vulnerable again. No matter how much it hurts… But I could never bring it upon myself to kill him off with the others. Looking at him, so beautiful and strong. So sensitive, so good.

"Maria, what's wrong? Your emotions, they're like nothing I've ever felt before…"

Should I tell him? I want to but he'll have an unbelievable amount of power over me if I do. I spent the last seventy years trying to keep my emotions from him.

I look into his glorious scarlet eyes. So tempted to whisper to him, to tell him how much I love him, in hope he loves me back.

But, if I do he might take advantage.

I walk over to him undecided; he knows there's something different about me tonight.

"Come here, Jasper" I whisper, lifting my mouth to his. He kissed me back fiercely and we fall to the floor, purring with pleasure.

JASPER POV:

Maria's mood before the sex was so strange. I couldn't stop dwelling on it. There was more than usual, as if there was some non- battle thing she wanted to tell me. I suppose it could have been apprehension…

But these thoughts quickly leave my mind as she invites a large crowd of awed humans into the large room. Their eyes widen as they take in the smashed furniture, the holes in the floor and ceiling and finally, us, waiting to the right of the door. They're shocked as they look into the eager eyes of the vampires waiting for a feed. The screaming son begins as one of the newborns leaps forward to bite into the neck of a teenaged girl. They try to run in terror, but we catch them easily. The fear, the pain in this room is unbearable and yet I'm so thirsty. I try to calm the room around me but I can't without feeding first, to gain energy.

I take the bravest of the humans, a middle-aged man, and try to sooth him as he whispers his wife's name in agony. I kill him quickly, snapping his neck and bringing his throat to my mouth. The taste is so delicious, hot and wet in my mouth. It would be perfect if it weren't for the other emotions I was feeling.

I feel a little depressed afterwards. I always do, because I remember what it's like, amazed her beauty with no idea of my fiery fate. The last night I was Major Jasper Whitlock.

**MARIA'S POV:**

I take another human. I already had one before, when I was collecting humans for the newborns, but I'd been saving this one. She smelled so appealing; I couldn't help but take her. I was right – he blood was so luscious, so delicious, I can't think of any other like it. There is nothing I wouldn't give up for this, this taste…

It's only after I've fed that I notice Jasper. He's depressed, brooding. He spends a lot of time on his own, trying not to talk or interact with anyone and it's only gotten worse over the years. Sometimes I think he is very sensitive to other people but at other times he seems so wrapped up in himself, I wonder if he notices any one else at all.

I didn't tell him how I feel for him and I probably never will – he would hurt me like _He _did so many years ago. I couldn't put myself through that sort of emotional pain again. I swore I would never fall in love with anyone else. But now I have and I'm only getting hurt all over again. But I can't dwell on love now.

"Peter, I want you to lock up the new newborns for the next few weeks. After that, you and Jasper should get rid of the older ones."

"But, Maria! Why don't we keep on some-"

"Do it!"

I don't know what happened to that boy. He's a good fighter but I only kept him on because Jasper seemed to like him. I wanted Jasper to have a companion, since I can't help him from whatever's bothering him. So sad, so depressed all the time. I don't under stand it. What does he have to be depressed about? I gave him everything I could – blood, a coven, the excitement of the fight, everything. I wish I knew what was wrong; I wish I could sooth away his frown. But I can't. Don't reveal anything. Hide your fear and weakness, Maria, someone will hurt you…

Suddenly, Jasper jumps up. One of the newborns, Abigail, is getting distressed as she follows Peter downstairs, guessing where she is going. Jasper takes her arm and calms her down.

"Abigail, it's alright. Nothing is going to happen to you down there"

She smiles at him and runs downstairs.

**JASPER'S POV:**

I shouldn't get attached to that little girl, to any of them. They'll be dead and gone in a year or two anyway. I'm eternally alone. Maria's never been good company. Usually she's planning an attack or brooding over some long lost love from centuries ago.

We all go for a run, all the older ones, before Peter and I destroy them all. We run around the city a couple of times before building a bonfire. They talk and laugh and play games – happy because of the more lenient treatment they've been receiving lately. Peter and I lay by the fire, talking quietly.

"Jasper?"

"Yes?" I can't understand his feelings. They were, well, they were something like what Maria felt this morning… yet different somehow. Stronger.

"Have you ever been in love before?"

What?

"No… I find it best not to get attached to anyone; I'd only have to destroy them."

He nods and stares up towards the amazing sky.

Wait, Maria – this morning? Was she-? _Impossible,_ I shake my and put the crazy thought to the back of my mind.

We debated as we went back. I was adamant that we should destroy every newborn. Maria had told us to and it wasn't worth the pain if we disobeyed her. Peter, for some strange reason, was trying to convince me to keep a few, telling me they had potential.

"I mean, she could be a very good fighter in the years to come…"

He was feeling helpless and upset. I've always liked Peter. He seems very civilised. He was the only one apart from me who didn't enjoy the fight. I was happy when Maria decided to keep him for a few years. He was good at fighting you see.

We started calling the newborns forward, one by one. I destroy most of them – James, Cynthia, Thomas, Jack, Annie, Rebecca… Peter was becoming more and more agitated. I try to decide whether to send him away and just finish off myself. I call Charlotte forward. And then Peters feeling change dramatically. He's angry, furious… And then the little girl enters the room. His feelings change again, to those of protectiveness, love?

_Have you ever been in love before? _I understand.

"Run, Charlotte, run!" He runs straight through the wall after her.

I have never really believed in love or soul mates or any nonsense like that. How could a thing so wonderful exist? Life isn't like that. You fight, you endure, you survive. No one helps you, you have no one to depend on but yourself.

By now, Peter and his new mate are far away. I could catch them but I don't. Peter, I can't kill him, my friend, one of my only companions. Or the wonderful feeling he has brought with him. I finish the rest of the newborns, deep in thought.

Maria comes home from a visit to a friend in Texas who had news on the fighting in the coming weeks. She looks around suspiciously for Peter when she sees me in the room alone. I tell her what happened but I don't tell her the reason for not pursuing them. She is livid.

"And why didn't you run after them?" she screeches.

"I, well, I had to kill the others and-"

"I'm locking you downstairs."

**MARIA'S POV:**

I should kill him for this. In any other coven, if he were any other member of this coven, he'd already be dead. I have to punish him. Despite my other reasons for keeping him, Peter was a good fighter, I was sorry to lose him.

I don't want to hurt Jasper, but he must be punished. I force him downstairs into the second room and lock the door. He's quiet, not growling and snarling like the newborns in the other room.

I can't bear to hurt him. He's so sad and depressed already and I can't even help him or stop whatever's hurting him. He's already deteriorating before my eyes. I want to help but I only hurt him even more.

I think of him fighting last night. He's so beautiful, so strong. He's always seemed so – so good… He's amazing. I love him. I purr in contentment, as I think about him freely, with no fear of letting him guess my feelings.

He doesn't start growling and snarling for blood for about two weeks. It hurts again to have to hurt such a beautiful, sensitive creature. How I wish he loves me back. But he doesn't. And that's why I won't tell him that I love him. Because I'll be refused all over again.

**JASPER'S POV:**

She shoves me into that filthy dark room. I look around. I can see every crack on the strong, metal walls, every dead insect. I hate her. I hate her for placing me into this life where I am dependent on her for every thing and yet I can't depend on her at all. Where I have to fight for everything I have. I hate her for taking away my freedom, my life, my_self… _I hate her for forcing me to kill others, other vampires, other humans, to survive.

The crazy thought that I had by the bonfire comes back to me. Of course she didn't _love_ me. Love is a ridiculous fairytale made up by idiotic humans. Love doesn't exist.

Peter is gone. He won't be able to survive out there. There are too many large covens of newborns that will kill him. I had really liked him. I should have known. Never get attached. They'll only disappear.

This is hell. It has to be. I'm alone in this world, even surrounded by so many of my own kind. I can't get to know anyone. I can't depend on anyone, even Maria. Sometimes, like now, I wish I had someone, someone who cares for me, who'd never go away.

I stand thinking about life in general for a while, an hour - who knows? – before I really began to comprehend the scorching pain in my throat. I soon began to throw myself at the walls, Knowing they were to strong for even a newborn to break through. Growling and snarling for both the one thing I hate most and need to survive. It's always been like this. The pain, the terror, the constant fight, the road to no where but more blood. Hide fear and weakness, depend on no one but yourself, survive. Fight.

Who'd what this life? Hell.

And yet, what other life is there?

_**Well, what do you think? If it's crap, tell me its crap! Can I improve it? Review!**_


	2. Alice: Delusions

**_Author's Note:_**

**_Alice! This is a short one. Okay, it's kind of dark too... but I'm doing Emmett next so his will be funny! I'll probebly add in a happier one for Alice later._**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight_**

"No…" the little girl whispered, her sharp green eyes dilating in terror. She looked down and ran a hand through her long dark hair.

"No! You can't just disown me… you can't make me go to a-"

She dodged out of the way as her mothers hand flew towards her face.

"Enough, Mary Alice! This has gotten to far out of hand. You_ will_ go and you _will_ stay there. Now go and pack some cloths – we have to leave at three o' clock."

Mary Alice slowly got up and walked up the stairs to her room, tears sliding down her cheeks. She had known this was coming for a while now, but that didn't mean it was any easier to accept. Out of all of her visions, this was the one she had hoped was a figment of her imagination - a delusion. That's was her parents called her visions – delusions...

She walked over to her closet and looked at her pretty dresses. She had picked them out all by herself but now she knew that she would never get to wear any of them again.

She frowned and thought about what her mother had just told her. Suddenly she was furious. She became truly possessed as she began ripping her cloths out of the closet and shredding them to pieces.

She couldn't think. She didn't _want _to think. Not about where she was going or what they would do to her. She sobbed manically as she turned towards her desk to start tearing her school books apart.

Her parents. They had promised her a thousand times when she was younger that they would love her forever but now they couldn't even bare to look at her. Not since she decided to tell them about the 'delusions'.

She began ripping up the paintings on the walls. Each time she had a vision she would paint it as best as she could (her visions were vague and she couldn't paint very well) and hang it on the wall. She had wanted to remember every one. Her parents didn't understand what these pictures depicted, of course.

Her sister, Cynthia had always believed her. Mary Alice told Cynthia about every one of her visions. Cynthia didn't think she was insane or point and laugh at her in the schoolyard. She just smiled and looked forward to whatever the future held.

But Mary Alice knew that she wouldn't see Cynthia ever again after today.

A sudden scream awoke her from her frenzied state.

"Call them now, Victor. She's going crazy up there!" Mary Alice heard her mother screech.

She slowly looked around her room. The floor was covered in torn material and paper, jewellery beads and broken trinkets and toys. Her mirror was cracked and her bed overturned. Her dressing table was thrown at the wardrobe, both of them now broken.

Slowly, she slid to the floor and curled up into a ball.

When the men in white coats came to take her away, they found her sitting in the same position, sobbing uncontrollably in the chaotic room.

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_**Reveiw!!!**_


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